Thoughts

I've been doing alot of soul searching and pondering the last few weeks with the upcoming life altering experience of bringing my daughter into this world and becoming a Mother for the first time...Sometimes in the quietest moments of my day, I can't help but feel a tremendous amount of love and strength from my Heavenly Father. I know he hears and answers my prayers. He loves me. I know he would NEVER give me a trial I was uncapable of overcoming. I know that getting pregnant out of wedlock isn't the most ideal situation, especially because of how I was raised, but I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. I honestly feel as if my baby girl was meant to come to me at this time in my life because I need her. He has trusted me with one of his most precious children and I feel honored to be Saije's Mom. I can't even describe the life lessons, big and small, I have learned in the past 6 months alone and I credit them all to this trial in my life. I am so thankful for the endless number of tender mercies from my Heavenly Father. A simple "kick" or case of the "hiccups" can change my whole day. A song on the radio. A rainbow after the rain. The feeling of warmth I feel in my heart when I look at Saije's ultrasound pictures. I feel extremely blessed that Saije and I have remained healthy, despite the scare a few weeks ago. I have been blessed with the greatest family on the face of the Earth! The last couple years we haven't been the closest because of several things, but every single time it's REALLY mattered that they were there for me, they were. Especially my Mom. She has been my best friend the past couple months and has been there for me every step of the way during this pregnancy, even when it wasn't convenient! She took such great care of me when I was on bedrest after getting out of the hospital. She made sure I ate enough and entertained me the best she could that entire week. She also made several trips to/from Burley to Ogden to be there with me at Dr. appointments. I can really appreciate and feel of her "Mother's Love" as I prepare to share that same love with my precious baby girl in just a few short weeks. At the end of the day, when all the crap and "BS" is over, it's those still standing in your corner who REALLY love you. Those are the people I want in my life and in my daughter's life. Thank you to everyone who has made a difference in my life and supported me through all of this. Words can never truly explain the difference it has made.

Thanks to all!

More Baby Clothes!

My cousin Jen informed me that Carters.com was having a HUGE clearance sale and if I spent at least $40, I could get an additional 20% off the already killer prices. Of course I wasn't going to pass it up! I ended up ordering 8 complete outfits and only spent $34 before shipping and sales tax because of the discount. A total of $43 when it was all said and done! This top little summer dress is my favorite of them all. It is really bright and cute and since Saije will be here in August sometime, she'll have a little bit of time to wear it before it starts getting too cold. I can always put a long sleeve onsie underneath it too. It is sooooooo tiny! Newborn clothes are ADORABLE!

The little hoodie outfit is in size 3 months since it will be alot cooler in November when she's that big. The other outfit is Newborn and it says "Grandma's Little Girl"... :D

This purple outfit duo is very cute! The pants go with both onsies, one long sleeve and one not. I also got these in size 3 months. You can't see, but there is a little bear face on the bum of the pants...Ha ha! I love it! This orange outfit is another Newborn outfit and it says "Mommy says I'm sweet"... :D

Lasy but not least, I got a few 6 month outfits for the heck of it! They were too cute to pass up! The blue one is a body suit and the flowered one is a little dress with a matching diaper cover that you can't see :D

Blessing Dress

A few weekends ago, my mom was in town and went with my Aunt Jo into Quilted Bear, the CUTEST and FUNNEST store on Earth, and said she saw a bunch of beautiful blessing dresses and that she wanted to get one for Saije. My mom was in town this last weekend again for my cousin Reese's wedding, so her and I went and sure enough I fell in love with this absolutely gorgeous blessing dress! The picture doesn't even do it justice...TRUST ME! Just wanted to share :) She is going to look like an angel!!!

I CAN be crafty afterall!

I've been wanting to make these ADORABLE wood name letters for Saije since I found out she was a girl! I had Cris Strank, my second Mom, cut these out for me. She sells them in her craft boutique inside the North Ogden Cannery. She is so crafty!!! Since I was gonna be at home in Burley for AT LEAST a week with nothing to do, it was a perfect time to get started. Good thing crafts can be done sitting down! LOL! I went with my Mom to Walmart and the scrapbook store long enough to get all the supplies and embellishments I needed to make them. Overall, I worked on this project for a couple hours and it was so much fun! I haven't been crafty in quite awhile so it felt good!  The picture above is of the finished project OTHER THAN I couldn't find a cute flower I liked to put in the middle of the "I" so it's just naked for now. I have found one since I took the picture, I'm just not in Idaho anymore to glue it on. It's a super cute burnt orange/red daisy that fits perfectly! Can't wait to take a FOR REAL finished picture and then get it set up on her nursery, which doesn't even exist yet...Ha Ha!

Here are the wood letters before I really got started. At this point, I had only painted the letters dark brown. I obviously didn't paint the front because the scrapbook paper would just cover it anyway. The colors I'm goin for are the browns with baby pinks, yellows, greens, and blues.

My first letter down! I just layed the wood letter down on the scrapbook paper and traced it. Then used an exacto knife to cut it out. An exacto knife works way better than scissors because it can cut all the rounded edges way smoother. I glued the paper directly on the wood block and let it dry. Then coated the top with Modge Podge to seal in the paper and give it the glazed look. Ready for the cute embellishments!

The finished products individually with embellishments and all. Remember the "I" isn't finished yet until I can get the flower glued on!

Dinosaur Park with Caleb and Angie

I got out of the hospital Thursday late afternoon and spent the next couple days with my Mom, Dad, Parker, Heather, and the kids in Ogden at my Aunt Jo's house. Before heading to Burley on Saturday, Heather thought it would be fun to take the kids to the Dinosaur Park here in Ogden. My Dad and Parker had alrady headed back to Burley earlier that morning for a golf tournament Parker was playing in so it was just us girls with the kids. I wasn't quite sure how to feel about it, although it sounded like a blast, because I just barely got out of the hospital and was supposed to be taking it easy. My mom said she would rent me a wheelchair so I could still go and have fun with everyone and still not have to walk! So we did! Here are just a few pics...thanks Mom!

Caleb LOVES dinosaurs, but funny enough he was pretty unsure and really nervous everytime we got close to some of them. I'm pretty sure the only reason he got this close to this set of dinosaur bones is because he KNEW it was dead. He kept saying "they aren't gonna move huh?" "they aren't gonna move huh?" like he was trying to reassure himself! Poor kid! I think overall he really liked it though :)

Angie was a trooper and stayed in the stroller the entire time we walked around and never made a fuss. She's a pretty easy-going little girl.

It was fun to see Caleb enjoy the dinosaurs. He's my BFF!

Grandma and Caleb by the robotic T-Rex! It moved liked it was alive and made noises like it was alive. This DEFINITELY freaked Caleb out, but he kept wanting to go back to it at the same time. We'll just say he liked the dinosaurs "from a good distance" Ha ha!

Angie on the car ride home back to Idaho. Isn't she such a cutie pie?

Pre-term Labor at 27 weeks!

Alot of you have asked what exactly happened a week and a half ago when I was in the hospital for two days due to pre-term labor. Here's the story:

It started the night before, May 31st at like 1 or 2 AM. My entire belly was contracting into a giant ball over and over and it hurt sooooo bad! It was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever experienced! Fortunately, I was able to fall asleep. I woke up the next morning, June 1st, and before I could even roll out of bed to get ready for work I was so lightheaded and dizzy and had ZERO energy. I lied there until the last possible minute and made it to the shower. Within a minute of standing in the hot water, a sudden feeling of passing out came over me so I dropped to the floor on my own so I wouldn't fall and just crouched in the corner of my giant shower and sat there with my knees up by my chest. I'm not gonna lie, I was scared. I have never felt like that before! I got out and called my boss and asked him if I could come in an hour late because I wasn't feeling well and I needed to get myself together. He was fine with that so I continued to take my time getting ready. I dressed VERY slowly and barely had enough energy left to put my hair up into a ponytail. I got to work right at 10 AM, an hour late. Other than NO energy whatsoever, it was a normal work day. Then about 1:00 hit and my belly started contracting again and I started feeling alot of pressure really really low in my pelvic area. It started getting worse and worse and the contracting wasn't stopping. I didn't know what was going on but after 20 minutes or so it started to let up. By the time I was able to get away for lunch it was 2:15. I immediately called my doctor's office and left a message. She called me back within 10 minutes. After explaining what I was feeling she said "come in right now!" So I did. I drove straight to McKay Dee Hospital where her clinic is located and she got me right in. Because of the contracting and intense pressure, she was positive I was in some stage of pre-term labor. The only way to tell for sure though was to do a few tests. She did a pelvic exam and got a few cultures from my cervix. She checked Saije's heart rate and it was quite a bit lower than it normally is, my blood pressure was through the roof, and my cervix was thinning, not open, but thinning. All in all, everything wasn't a good combination so she put the culture swabs in a hazard bag, handed it to me, and told me to go straight to labor and delivery at Ogden Regional Hospital. She would call them and let them know what was going on and give them instructions on what to do for me until she could get there later that night. I had to drive to Ogden Regional because that is the only hospital my insurance will pay for. That is where I will be delivering. Kind of inconvenient, but if that's where the insurance will pay for my care, then whatever! I checked in right at 4 PM and they got me in a room and hooked up to the heart rate and contraction moniter very quickly. At this point, I was just in "observation". After about 2 hours, the nurse came in and told me that I definitely was having contractions and they are just waiting for the results from the pre-term labor culture that Dr. Lesser did at her office. What the test says is how high of a risk you are for delivering within 14 days, 30 days, and 45 days. Dr. Lesser got there at about 8 PM and told me that the test came back with a 12% risk of delivering WITHIN 14 days and that was WAY TOO HIGH! She was going to admit me to the hospital until contractions pretty much stopped altogether, until I could see a neonatologist (high risk pregnancy doctor), and until I could get in for an ultrasound to check Saije's position. She told me she was going to start me on some steriod shots for Saije to speed up the development of her lungs in case she does come early, since lungs are the main concern with preemies. She said she was taking this very seriously because I could easily go into all out labor and have a baby within a day if they don't take proper precautions. OF COURSE that made me even more nervous and scared than I already was!!! I stayed the night and got in to see the neonatologist for an ultrasound first thing in the morning. He did an all over ultrasound like we did at 19 wks when we found out the gender. She was right on track for growth, all her vital organs still looked good, her heart rate was back up to normal, and she was movin all around. Only thing was she was in the breech position so he said she needs to turn around before she comes. If not, she's even more high risk so hopefully she doesn't come for awhile! I went back to the room and Dr. Lesser came back again. She said that since I'd been laying in bed the entire time and I hadn't had anymore major contractions, my blood pressure was back down, baby was healthy, and the neonatologist confirmed my cervix was closed tight, she felt good about sending me home on bed rest orders. The nurse came in and gave me my second round of steriod for Saije and said I was good to go! Doctors orders were "bed rest" with the term used very loosely. I was not to be bed ridden by any means, but to stay off my feet as much as possible. Lay in a recliner or on the couch or in bed as much as I can, but still get up every 2-4 hours and walk around for a minute so my blood circulation stays good for Saije. If I have anymore contractions or pressure or anything else, to go straight to labor and delivery. Work was absolutely out of the question so soon after this kind of scare. I told my boss and that weekend I went back to Burley with my mom so she could take care of me while I had to rest and take it easy so I didn't have to do that by myself here.

I came back to Ogden this week for my follow up appointment. Things went pretty well. She checked me again to make sure my cervix wasn't opening and it wasn't. She said that no progress in this situation is GOOD progress so she was happy. Obviously "bed rest" was working. We battled a little bit about me going back to work and she hesitantly agreed to let me take it one week at a time and only work 4 hrs/day. If at any point my pre-term labor is progressing, she will say NO MORE WORK until baby comes and there's no fighting it at that point. So, here I am back in good 'ol Ogden, UT working 4 hrs/day until I can't anymore! It's kind of bittersweet. I need the money to pay bills, but at the same time I don't want to ask for trouble ya know? Dr. said if she can get me to 36 weeks she'll be stoked! That is August 1st!!!! It's gonna be here before I even know it! I'm hoping to beat the 12% chance and make it all the way to 40 weeks so Saije can be as healthy as possible.

Well that's the story in a nutshell. I'm sure I left out a few details, but that's enough to catch the jist of it. I am happy to say that so far so good. I think I convinced her to stay "in" awhile! ha ha!

Thanks so much to everyone who called, texted, visited, etc. It was the scariest predicament of my entire life, but I had alot of support from family/friends! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!